Sunday, 10 April 2016

A Quick Goodnight

So, I'm sat here feeling completely and utterly drained, of every ounce of mental, physical and emotional energy .... It's like something pulled the plug and left me dry .... My throat and upper respiratory infection isn't cleared and even while taking the antibiotics it feels like it's coming back ... It's probably just me being exhausted ... I did get so much done this past week, I'm glad but I'm now paying for it.  I'm also very shocked and saddened by several deaths these past 2 days, all down to sarcoidosis .... They've sent shock waves through the sarcoidosis community on Facebook, a lot of hitting home as to the severity of this disease, the battles we face because we look great, but as a close friend and sister of mine said, we are dying on the inside.  It's the truth.  Our time is limited.  We have to make the most of every second we have left.  These deaths have made me do a lot of thinking recently too.  I so want people I love to understand that despite the fact I look ok on the outside, it's not the case within and that my time is also limited.  No matter how I try, it's like I'm just not being heard properly.

I'm only going to say this once, but if the worse were to happen, I don't want those left behind in shock, like they weren't prepared .... They need to be .... It shouldn't come as a shock when that times comes, it should be understood and they need to be well prepared.  Now I'm not suggesting for one second it'll happen overnight ... Of course it won't, but I won't be like my mum and live to see over 80 ... I'll be lucky to enjoy retirement .... If I get that far, so enough said.  Just don't say you weren't warned, ok?

I'm sorry this is a doom and gloom kind of entry, it's not meant to be all that way ... It's meant to be a tough and practical approach to my circumstances, it's a necessity to be prepared.

On that note, I am going to say goodnight, I'm sickened by some of the things I've dealt with this week in terms of human behaviour, both on and offline.   

I'll leave you with this - And I quote "First they hate, then they copy"

"It's sad to see people so desperate and insecure about themselves, that they need to copy everything about someone. They can try so hard to become that person, but in the end, all they are stuck with is themselves........
Be yourself, because you're wasting your time trying to be me"


No comments:

Post a Comment