Just here wishing all you wonderful Dads out there a very Happy Father's Day ... I hope you enjoy your day with your kids and that you get spoiled rotten :)
I'm in the throes of a pain episode which kicked off on Friday night after I came home from walking my dog ... I've been in absolute agony ever since ... No matter what I do, where I put myself or how many pain killers I swallow, it's not doing Jack Shit or his wife for me .... I also want to thank someone for yesterday, it helped a bit so thank you .. I just want to do so much and I have tried but I end up in worse pain for it ... It's frustrating as much as anything else ... I have work tomorrow, I have to go in even if I'm on my hands and knees .... I just wish those around me would understand, I'm not doing this for sympathy or attention, when I say I'm in pain, I'm in fucking pain ... It makes me feel so low in mood, I want the curtains shut, complete peace and quiet and some understanding ... Even typing hurts ... I woke up shaking this morning ... I never make it out of bed without pain hitting but this weekend it's been hell ... I can usually manage it better ... I'm still expected to do everything around the home, I'm not managing so well with that right now, I'm also sleeping loads as well .. All I want to do is sleep when the pain eases enough ... It's exhausting ... I don't care what anyone unaware of this type of pain says ... Being in chronic pain is exhausting ... My body feels so weak at the moment .. The slightest movement is causing substantial pain ... But my will is strong ... I will get past this, so will you if you suffer the same .... I can understand why people commit suicide when they're in chronic pain .... We need more understanding and more support out there to try and help and assist the chronically sick in not only pain management, but health management overall ... At the moment we are treated with little understanding, much rejection and hostility ... Just because our illness may be rare or unheard of, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, it is very real and it is also a mystery with no cure ... Can sarcoidosis kill you? ... Yes ..... How more serious do you want it?
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